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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 19, 2006 9:14:09 GMT -5
There are these guys who get PAYED to go to movies and write up whether or not they suck or not! UNreal what a awesome job it is the third best job of all times except for being a baskeball superstar or eltse a pornoe guy! Which I could do both of if I felt like it! So anyways sense I know all bout movies and which ones suck I am going to start writing reveiws of them so that people who hire movie criticizers will read my awesome movie raveiws and hire me up and pay me lots of money to watch movies all the time! This is going to rule yo!
So anyways the first movie is called Big Mama in da House 2! This is a movie about a fat chick who runs all around and jumps onto cars and all like that! It is vary funny you see be cause she is so FAT! You know that will be funny ever time! But even though this movie is so funny with a big fat girl who wears a giant thong on her butt it is still kind of a jipp be cause it is suppost to have Martin Lewis in it and he is hardley even in it and he isent even funny! Its all about the fat girl and not about Martin Lewis! And allso who wants to watch some fat girl all the time why dont they have some hot naked and nude girls in there too to ballince it out! So that is why Big Mama House 2 is not a perfect movie! So it is pretty funny though! I never even seen Big Mama in the House 1 but it is still funny I figgured out the whole movvie anyways but if you are not a movvie expert like me then you probaly better watch Big Mama in the House 1 first so you will know what it going on! So that is why I give Big Mama in the House 2 four thumbs up and 2 stars! Out of 5!
So thats my first movvie reveiw I will be making reviews of ever movie ever made! So "stay tuned" hahahaha get it that is going to be my tradmark of being a movvie critizizer! If I forget to write up a reveiw of a movie then just let me know I will write one up! And if you are a guy who hires movvie criticizers then hire me up right now yo I am ready to watch movvies all the time and get payed!
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Post by LILDUHONGODUKEGO on Jun 19, 2006 10:49:01 GMT -5
SpAcE jAm
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gimrat
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Post by gimrat on Jun 19, 2006 15:19:44 GMT -5
So I got this movie called How I learnd to Stop Worring and Love the bomb with Peter Cellers in it who he was also like Inspecter Clueso in another bunch of movies and they shoed the americans bombing the ruuskees! and they also showed american shooting each other includeing this general Jack the Ripper who shot at amricans with a belt! And he was supposed to be on our side! Unreal! This girl she says to me you don't want to see the americans nuck the ruuskies but I kinda wanted them too mostly through the movie but I see what she meant the whole world got blowed up in the end. I recommend this movie.
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 19, 2006 16:08:02 GMT -5
I was just going to write a review of Space Jams! So now I will!
Space Jams is a AWESOME carton movie about how AWESOME the Great Micheal Jordan is! He dunks the ball right throgh the basket ever time! You cant stop him face FACTS! And he meets up with Buggsbunnie and Dafty duck and Froghon Legghorne and Mickymouse and all the other carton superstars and they have to beat a team of outer space bad guys or eltse the whole wide world will get blowed up! So of course the great Micheal Jordan wins the Big Game even though his team mates are loosers who cant even play! Be cause he RULES!! So if you are from outer space and you are reading this than dont you even THINK about trying to beat us in baskeball we still have Micheal Jordan and allso some new young guys who are even way better! Face FACTS we got Shack and Dewayne Wayne and LeBAron James and Coby Bryan! So if you want to play us in baskeball BRING IT ON! Me and them other guys will be the Earth Team and we will kick you asses right back to space! PANWED you looser alleins!!!!! IN YOU FACES!!! OR whatever you have instead of faces!! EARTH RULZ JODRAN RULES I RULE WE WILL KICXK YOU ASSES BEEYOTHES!!!!
So that is why Space Jamms rules and is one of the best movies you ever seen!! I give it 9 thumbs up!!
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 19, 2006 16:09:26 GMT -5
So there is this other movie! It is called How I learnd to Stop Worring and Love the bomb with Peter Cellers in it who he was also like Inspecter Clueso in another bunch of movies!
It is full of nonsince and bad spelling and looserness! Loosers recommend this movie!
NO THUMB UP!!!
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 20, 2006 16:14:32 GMT -5
So the next awesome movie oof all times is STARWARS!!! Starwars is the awesomest movie ever made of all times!! FACE FACTS!!! It is all about this kid Look Spywater who has freinds who are robbots and big fury whookys and allso a girl named Princes Layya! And allso Hand Soloe and Kirk and SPok who is a vlucin and so he has pointie ears that are like werdo and allso he has to be quiet all the time! Be cause of his wedro outer space relgion! So anyways this kid Look goes around space looking for the Forts! The forts is a spatial power that buils like a fort around you so no one can punch you or blast you with they fazers or stab you with litesavers which are magic lightingup sowrds that are so cool! And this real bad guy name Dart Invader hates Look and he tries to stop him with his army of white robbots! But they all shoot real bad and miss Look ever single time! Be cause he is awesome and has the forts with him! So its all complecated because its a space movie and space movies are all complecated be cause of sciensce of the future which is real powerful and lets you fly around in a rocket ship! Which looks so awesome when you go flying around outerpsace! And Looks freinds Kirk and Spok fly around in a different ship it is called Anterprize and it is a awesome rocket! Kirk is the Captain and Spok is the next guy who has werdo pointed ears and has to be quite all the time!So they help out Look and help him get with Princes Layla and help him get to the rocket that is flowed by Hand Solow and the Whooky who is a fury guy named Choo Backa! They have to fight verse Dart Invader who flies the Deathstar which is a bad guy rocket and vary powerfull and no one can blow it up! Exscept for Look who sneaks in his little rocket ship and blows up the Deafstar and it all explodes like BOOOOOM! That rulz and we win! Exsscept Dart Invater sneaks out and gets away! So they have to have another movie where Look ahs to sowrd fight verse Dart but Invater goes Yo Look I am you father chump what do you think of that beeyoth!!! But Look is so awesome he dont even care! He keeps on fighting verse him! Oh ya I forgot allso there is this olden guy Obie Wankanobby who is very wise and allso this little twerp Yotah who knows like everthing but he talks backwards so it is hard to figgure him out! And there is allso Java the Hut who is a big fat guy! And Klingons are allso bad guys and they fight verse this bald captain named Pickerd who is very nice but borring! So anyways Dart Vater gets away and makes a robbot called the Bork that is very bad! So Look ahs to fight that too! There is lots of fighting for a outer space movie which is why it rules! So trust me you have to watch this movie go and buy it on DVVD right now you wont reggret it!! Because everone loves it not just nurds and geekes! Even cool people like me love this awesome movvie! So you better love it too or eltse you are a NURD!!!! And a LOOSER!!!!
I give this movie 9 thumbs up out of 5! Be cause it RULZ!!!!!!!!
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LiLDuHonCaMeRonCrAzIe1
Guest
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Post by LiLDuHonCaMeRonCrAzIe1 on Jun 20, 2006 20:50:57 GMT -5
I LIKE LANDO
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 21, 2006 8:58:41 GMT -5
The other movie that there is is called Tytanick! It is about this big boat that goes out on the water! And it is insinkible! But it hits a big iceburg and it sinks! So anyways there is this forein kid Lenardio Decapro and he likes this hot girl Rosy! Hey say I am the awesome King of all in the world! And like that!
But then they die! It is very sad and it makes the girls cry so that is why you should rent this D-VD be cause you watch it with a girl and she get all amotionel and she will want to get with you trust me holmes! Just dont wragg on the loosers in the movie too much or talk about how they are all dumb olden times loosers even though they ARE or eltse you might not get any and then you will have to make a bootie call to that girl from work trust me yo! So just like bring you gamboy and turn off the sound when you play and pertend to watch Lenardio Dacapio and care about it! Then the girl will get with you! So that is why I give this movvie 4 thumbs up unless you trash talk all the loosers in it then you wont get anny and then the movvie should get ZEROE thumbs up! Out of 7!
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 21, 2006 9:15:09 GMT -5
Allso they made a sequeal of this Tytannick movie last year it is called Posydin! It sucks dont even watch it with a girl! They changed everthing and even though it is in modern days it still sucks! The boat isent even called Tytanick why the hell would you even do a sequeal and change the name! Doi! I should be in charge of the movies trust me they would be WAY better with lots more fighting and killing and naked and nude girls who are HOT!! And no stupid borringness where they just set around and talk all the time and make faces and act and all like that! I would make a movie that is like Space Jamms mixed with Starwars! It would have Micheal Jorden in outerspace with carton peopel! And they would shoot fazers at everyone and make axplosiens! Which would RULE! And then all kind of hot naked and nude girls would come around and you would get to see EVERTHING do you know what I am saying yo! And then there would be a big car race where they chase each other in cars and go real fast! And at the end there would be a fight verse the badguys and they would have to punch each other right in the face and allmost like fall off the roof! But the good guy wouldent he would open up a can of whoopas on the bad guy! And it would be FUNNY where the good guy say all kind of cool stuff while punching the bad guy! And it would have Micheal Jorden and Arnold Shwarznegger or however you say it and allso Brusce Wills and lots and lots of HOT NAKED girls! And Arnold would kill Brusce Wills and Mell Gibsen with lite savers which are awesome lighting up sowrds! And shoot them with fazers which are lazer beans that shoot out of a gun and they kill you like right away!! And he would catch the cerial killer who has been slashing up all the hot naked girls and salve the mystrey of who it is and no one would even know that it was that guy we all thought it was the other guy! But it WASENT!! ! And so then in the big game Micheal Jordan would make the Winning Shot right at the buzzerd and the bad guys would have to go back to outerspace! And everyone cheers and hifives and crack jokes and makes out with the hot girls and drinks 40s and partays!! So that would kick ass!
But then one of the bad guys gets away in a seceret little rocket ship! And so at the end it say "The End! Or IS it!" So then you can have lots more squeals of this movie! A squeal is like part 2 and part 3 of a movie that comes out so you can go and see the same movie over and over and over again and again! But its different with NEW aventures!
Come on face FACTS that would be the BEST most awesomest movie of all times!!! So dont you steal it everone knows I made it up!! I have it wrote down right at home and I showed it to everone! So if you try and steal it I will SUE you for like a MILLION dollers! And that would rule I would get rich without even having to make the movie!! Hahahahah cram that one STEALER!!
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Post by vivianharperGRANNYPANTS on Jun 22, 2006 8:23:03 GMT -5
My favorite movie is Waiting to Exhale. It is for adults.
Vivian Harper
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gimrat
Modraters!
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Post by gimrat on Jun 23, 2006 15:35:48 GMT -5
Now this hear is a movie nobody would pay you to go see exept theyd a have to pay me to watch it again and is better be a lot besides they got to sit me in a chair and glue my eyeballs open or soething but anyway it is by Louie Buniel and is called Simon des Dessertes which is all about some guy sitting on top of a column out in the middel of like this big dessert and they whole movie they try to make him come down offa that big column! But he won't do it! And they are all talking in Spainish so I cant undertand any of it unless I read the Enlish words on the bottom of the screen and anyway this is one lousay movy. I give it three thumbs yer out it winds up in a sleazy disco right at the end but this guy from the column he don't even know how to dance! Or who the B.Gees are! Unreal!
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CHEESE
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Post by CHEESE on Jun 23, 2006 15:40:04 GMT -5
I saw a film by Bunuel in my International Film course, 2nd semester Sophomore year. It was the one where the guy cuts his eyeballs with a razor, which insipired the Pixies song "Debaser"
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 25, 2006 19:52:13 GMT -5
YOU PEOPEL ARE LOOSERS!! Why do you even talk about nonsice garbidge movies that are made by stupid foreiners that no one even watches! Cripes whats wrong with you people! Go and type on the gotdamn Stupid Movie People Club massage board instead of my awesome board if you are onley going to talk about stupid retard movvies by Mexsicens and other loosers! Why dont you even talk about how AWESOME my movie idear is! IT IS BE CAUSE YOU ARE ALL JEALOUS OF ME!! THATS WHY!!!
JEALOUS!!
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 27, 2006 14:15:21 GMT -5
The next movie is called The Clicker and it is about Adem Sandaler! He is this guy who becomes magick and gets to use a ramote control clicker on everone! It is vary funny and he make everone do all kind of stunts and tricks like backing up in raverse or going fassforwerd! Like when you push the FassForwerd switch on your clicker at home! So it like puts everone in a D-VD! Wow! It is awesome man I wish I had one of them I would point it right at everone and press the Shut Up button! And you would all have to Shut Up! And mine would allso have a Cram It button and you would all have to cram it! And allso mine would have a Get Naked button and I would point it right at girls and they would have to get Naked and Nude! Right there in front of me! Wow that would be the best thing ever I cant wait untell they come out with this clicker I will buy it right away! And then I will hit Go Back and make the stupid cash regester guy give me my money back! Hahahahahah! Why dont they come out with one now what are they wading for!
Anyways the point is this is the funnyest and best movie ever made of all times! Come on!! It is 7 thumbs up face FACTS!! Happy Gellmore is vary funny in this movie but he needs to talk more in funny voices and make faces more! Like he did when he was Waterboy the Football Man! And he talk all in funny voices! Like a retard! Or a foreiner! So if you are reading this Happy Gellmore then start doing it! Or else I will get me one of them clickers and point it right at you and make you back up into Waterboy time and then you will be funnier and we will all laugh again!
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gimrat
Modraters!
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Post by gimrat on Jun 28, 2006 16:11:26 GMT -5
This movie Clink is funny enogh in the trailers but they showed just about all the funny parts in the trailers so if you saw the tralers you saw them. Except for the part where he fartes in Dave Hasshops face, they didnt put that one in the trailers. But anyway all the funnyest parts of this movie were in the begining when he turn his skin green like the incedable hulk and stuff but about half way throgh it starts to get deep and sad and worrying about him getting old and fat and his father dyeing and then its just no funny any more. Banwaggin boy you must of fall asleep about halfway throgh cause its only funny in the first half and thats a fact.
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 28, 2006 23:09:12 GMT -5
No way hosea I seen LOTS of notfunny movie in my trailer! So you dont even know what you talking about yo! Why would watching it in your trailer make it funnyer! That dont even make no since! Unless you get all tore up on the fortys in you trailer that would make annything funny! Exscept my stupit exwive! Get it hahahahhahah!!
PS Dont you tell ME whats funny! I will tell YOU!! The Clicker is a funny movvie! And I seen it in a THETER not in a trailer! So I know more then you!!! Looser!
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Post by LILDUH0N on Jun 29, 2006 12:17:55 GMT -5
hArRy pOtTeR
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 29, 2006 15:27:44 GMT -5
Oh yeah I seen that movie! I will type a reveiw of it give me a chance to remeber it!
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Post by King Awesome Dawg! on Jun 29, 2006 15:40:43 GMT -5
There is a movie called Hairrypotter and the Universty of the Pheonix! It is about this kid Ron Hairrypoter who is a magick guy! He wears glasses like a nurd and lives in Englend which is what nurds do! But he is allso full of magick tricks and spatial powers! He goes to magick colledge called Hoggwarsh and learns all kind of tricks! He has to fight verse Valdmore this creepey bad guy! He has freinds allso who help him like the redheaded kid and the fat guy and his chick Harmoney who he will get with trust me! So they are all like magick people and throw around all kind of spellings and magic waunds and other tricks like that! And they play this sport Kidwhich where they fly all arround in the sky on broomes! Unreal! It is a lot less panseyish then you think! So anyways Ron Hairrypoter is the bets magickian of them all he is like as good as David Blane or Hairry Coperfield! So anyways they go to this guy Serious Blacks house! He isent even black but that is be cause he is from Englend where no one is black! And they have to fight verse the Unversity of the Pfoenix which is a magick colledge that I think is in Arzonia! Anyways trust me this is a awesome movie with all kind of spatial affects that are so cool dude! Everone loves the Hairrypoter movie! So I give it 12 thumbs up and nine stars up out of 14! Go and rent it today!
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gimrat
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Post by gimrat on Jul 13, 2006 11:45:22 GMT -5
Is that that movie where dumberdore dies but you know he doest really die forever its just like Dr. Spock in the Grapes of Caan where he dies at the end but in the squeal hes right back in there again with his point-ear grin and live large and prosper and all that. Same thing with dumberdore! Truss me on this he aint really dead thats a fact! Wait for the squeal!
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